How to live honestly

On the day of his crucifixion, Jesus stood before the crowd and the Roman Governor, Pontius Pilate, proclaimed, "Behold, your King!"

Did he believe what he said or was he playing the political game he found himself a player in?

We do not know exactly what was in his heart and mind in that moment, but given the spectacle he was in that day and what we know historically about the relationship he had with the Jewish authorities of that day, it is safe to conclude that Pilate was saying one thing, Jesus is a king, while meaning another.

How often do you do the same?

It is easy to do today, to get trapped in the expectation of social conformity.

We go along to get along.

Pilate tried not to play this game. At one point he told the crowd, "I find no fault with him [Jesus]" but he lacked the political will to do what was right and set Jesus free.

Decades ago, singer and songwriter, Billy Joel, lamented in his song Honesty,

If you look for truthfulness

You might just as well be blind

It always seems to be so hard to give.

Honesty, is such a lonely word

Everyone is so untrue

Honesty, is hardly ever heard

And mostly what I need from you

Is it possibly to live honestly?

I believe so. Here's how:

1. Get clear - do the hard work of figuring out what you really want and how you really feel about whatever is going on. Self awareness is a necessary ingredient for human thriving.

2. Dare to share - it will take courage, but dare to share with others what is really going on beneath the surface of your life. You may look like the duck peacefully floating on the water while underneath the surface your legs are moving keeping you afloat and moving forward. Others can only help when they see the floundering beneath the surface.

3. Stay connected - it is possible to say with clarity what we believe and feel, even if contrary to public opinion, while remaining connected to others. A healthy self-differentiated person does just that on a regular basis. Speaking truth while staying connected creates relationships built on honesty and mutual respect.